Gluten Free and Boundaries
Gluten Free and Boundaries
You’re Gluten Free, at a Social Event, and then the Pizza Man Arrives
So you have been diagnosed with celiac disease or with a gluten intolerance. You have set your kitchen up to be gluten free and have successfully managed to switch your diet over to being gluten free. Your body is beginning to heal from the ravages of wheat and gluten intolerance. You are beginning to feel your health and radiance return and life is beginning to be a lot more pleasant.
And then, you are invited to a party. You have informed the hostess that you are gluten intolerant and she has seemed to be agreeable to making concessions for your food needs. You walk into the party, anticipating a very nice evening, and you look around. An assortment of vegetable platters is there and then the doorbell rings. “The pizza is here” exclaims your host and your heart sinks a little.
Your friend lays out an assortment of wheat based pizzas and everyone digs in. She looks at you and says “I forgot you can’t eat it…can’t you just eat the meat and cheese and leave the crust?” You don’t want to be any trouble and slowly nod yes. You pick off as much as you can of the meat and toppings and hope that you aren’t going to pay for it the next day. . .and you do.
Setting Food Boundaries
Why is it so difficult for people to speak up for themselves? I am always astonished when a certain person that I know who has been diagnosed with gluten intolerance, will eat a sandwich made with wheat bread, instead of “making a fuss”. It is not “making a fuss” to ask for what you need, it is a sign of self care.
Being gluten free is not a preference or optional for the majority of us. . .it is a necessity. When something is a necessity, you don’t need to feel bad or awkward about making the request.
You need to be clear about it, first. When you have a clear understanding of your own limits, you will be better able to keep them.
It is always a choice and when we value ourselves enough, the boundaries are much easier to set and maintain. When you have a clear image of yourself as someone who is gluten free because you value yourself, it is so much simpler for other people to see us so.
“Self-image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment” Maxwell Maltz
Gluten Free and Taking Control!
Taking Exquisite Care of Yourself to Boost Your Self Image
In order to value yourself and be able to set those boundaries, you can begin to take exquisite care of yourself in many different areas of your life, as well as your dietary restrictions.
1. Take time to exercise, with your doctor’s okay.
2. Expand your knowledge of how your body works.
3. Allow yourself rest and relaxation time, rejuvenate!
4. Be kind to yourself by avoiding negative self talk. Replace it with encouraging and supportive self talk.
5. Visualize a healthy you saying “no” to gluten foods and feeling good about standing up for yourself
How To Set Gluten Free Boundaries
Speak up when you are eating with other people and sharing food. Do NOT apologize for having dietary needs, lots of people do, even if you don’t know it. Think of how many people need to restrict their salt or the amount of sugar or alcohol they consume. People have nut allergies, shellfish allergies, dairy allergies; the list can go on and on, can’t it?
• Be okay with arranging for special orders of food at work related events. Talk to the co-ordinator ahead of time and order a gluten free meal.
• Don’t knowingly eat gluten containing foods under any circumstances.
• Ask for what you need when you are ordering in restaurants and do it confidently.
• Make a commitment to yourself that you will love yourself enough to eat gluten free as cleanly as you can.
Perhaps you are someone who has no trouble with setting boundaries with food. If you have difficulty in other areas of your life with setting them, the same principles can apply. Strengthen your self image through visualization, positive self talk, and taking care of yourself physically and see what happens!
In order to be effective, we all need to have boundaries that we establish with other people and with ourselves. When we love ourselves enough, we naturally make sure that our needs are respected, don’t we? Then, you can draw a line in the sand and you won’t cross over it or allow anyone else to pull you over the line.
About the Contributor:
Sherie Venner- Guest Blogger
Sherie Venner is a relationship and personal change coach. She realizes that the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. She, and many members of her family, have dealt with celiac disease and the gluten free diet for the past 10 years. We are all thriving. Embracing change can be empowering! Catch her on her blog where she talks about relationships and change. Learn more about Sherie at http://www.sherievenner.com/
Thoughts From Nancy Olson:
Thanks for such great tips Sherie! I can totally relate to being invited to a social event and they make it sound like they can accommodate you and then you find out later that they were wrong and you left the party hungry and could have been prepared. Gluten free definitely has it’s boundaries and I don’t plan on eating the cheese and meat off of the pizza that just got delivered! Another option when you have diet restrictions such as gluten free is to bring a dish to share your hostess will be excited too!
How has a gluten free lifestyle changed your social events?
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This is a great post! When I first began my whole foods journey, well before there was a mainstream understanding of what that meant, I had a little thermos like gadget that held several different sized containers. I would fill each of them with fresh foods from home and take it with me any where I went…restaurant, social event, whatever, wherever. I did so boldly and if I was denied, I left. My health was far more improtant than making a chef or even a beloved host happy and risking my wellness. In time, I learned where I could go and even what I could potentially order and evenetually, the container disappeared. So, step out in bold confidence and take care of yourself. Your true friends and anyone else with sincere care for your well-being, even a restaurant owner, will support you. If not, Next!
Carl your bold confidence paid off to your great health! Thanks for sharing!
Great post! I can absolutely relate to not wanting to upset a kind host.
This is a great way of looking at it — not as being insulting or disrespectful to someone’s hospitality, but instead as being respectful and kind to yourself.
Yes you are so right you can still be respectful and make sure your covered!